If you think you know what your wife likes and your not getting sex. Think about it, do you really know? Probably not. Unfortunately for me, I was ten years into marriage before I really started to understand this concept. I thought letting her be on top was enough. There are a growing number of women authors that are beginning to explain what women need when it comes to pleasure and sex. They are trying to explain this in a not threatening way to men, not just Mormon men.
Women also explain that we men get our feelings hurt about this because our egos are so caught up in being good at sex. So when the women point out we may not be so good at sex we are ashamed and get upset. Women fear pain physical and emotional, so when they suggest we are doing something wrong and we retaliate they fear reprisals. Which means they stop telling us what we are doing wrong and sex gets less frequent. Because it is something else in their lives that they have to endure.
Guys, you need to learn pleasurable sex is not about your penis in your wife’s vagina. Most of the time that is not what feels best for a woman. Many times women get their greatest pleasure with no penis involvement at all.
Let me say this again, YOUR penis is not the best tool for giving your wife the greatest pleasure.
There is a LDS Woman that is a relationship and sex therapist named Jennifer Finlayson-Fife she recommends the book Slow Sex – There is also a TED talk from the Author Nicole Daedone that explains how important it is you are compassionate towards your wife and what she needs for pleasure. Daedone explains that you have a wonderful opportunity to connect with your wife by helping her to reach pleasure and orgasm.